These are the many different subject lines husbands
use when they contact us at The Bulletproof
Husband about how to save their marriage
(yes, we actually tracked these):
"how to fix a broken marriage"
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"how to repair my marriage"
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"how to fix a relationship"
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"i want to fix my marriage"
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"how to save a broken marriage"
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"how can i fix my marriage"
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"fixing your marriage"
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"how do i fix my marriage"
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"repairing a marriage"
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"fix marriage problems"
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"how do i save my marriage"
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"how to fix relationship"
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"how to repair marriage"
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"how to keep my wife"
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"fixing my marriage"
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"how can i save my marriage"
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"how to save my marriage"
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"how to fix a bad marriage"
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"how to fix a marriage"
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"how to fix my marriage"
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"how to fix a relationship you ruined"
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Regardless which of these popped up for you in your
head, what you need to realize is that the ANSWER TO
ALL OF THEM ARE EXACTLY THE SAME.
Let me explain.
The basic thing you need to understand first is the
"psychology" of how a marriage breaks down.
Your wife doesn't wake up from Monday to Tuesday
wanting a divorce, separation or affair.
On average, a wife gives at minimum 2 years of
signals to the husband about the marriage not
working. The probability that this is the same for
you is 99%.
During these 2+ years, she is desperately trying to
get your attention to fix the marriage issues with
her.
However, all of it falls on deaf ears with broken
promises and total ignorance from you.
While she is giving signals which you fail to see,
her belief is that she is working on the marriage
alone and you don't care at all.
After years of these escalating patterns of signal
giving and her feeling suffocated more and more each
day in the process, her heart starts to harden.
She becomes more masculine.
She becomes more direct.
She becomes less affectionate.
She becomes less responsible around the house,
chores, and kids.
She starts to focus more on fulfilling her own needs.
She starts to be less and less around you.
She starts to withdraw intimacy.
Then you wake up one day and you get the "slap" from
her:
- I love you, but I am not in love with you
- I want to separate
- I want to divorce
- I just want to be friends
- I cheated on you
- I am not happy anymore
- I don't want to be around you
You are now shocked. You didn't see it coming at all.
Totally caught you off guard.
Your world is shattered. Your hopes and dreams of
"happily ever after" are crumbling.
Your confusion and lack of understanding what just
happened is starting to raise your heart beat and
this sense of disbelief takes over you along with
temperature changes being felt throughout your body.
From here, in a state of panic you become a puppet.
You go into an overcompensation drive with total
enablement of your wife sprinkled with begging and
pleading fuelled by what feels like a never ending
stream of guilt all with the hope to try to change
her mind.
The more your guilt is fuelling these behaviors the
worse everything gets. Not only you don't achieve the
results you hoped for, it is now 10 fold worse.
This pisses you off and triggers you constantly.
Your guilt starts to turn into blame and finger
pointing at your wife which results in arguments and
passive-aggressive attacks.
Then you jump on the rollercoaster ride of constant
flip between anger and guilt with the alternating
associated behaviors of :
- Justifying
- Overexplaining
- Defending
- Needing to be right
- Needing to be heard
- Lashing out
- Yelling
- Blaming
- Avoiding
- Escaping
- Overthinking
- Fix it mode
Now, your marriage is worse than ever. It seems
unrepairable.
There is nothing left in you.
You are stressed, exhausted and at a loss.
BUT you are still desperate and you just cannot
accept this.
This is when a light bulb moment happens.
"I cannot do this alone. Clearly others must know how
to solve it if I can't. Let's reach out for help."
So the research starts.
Google. Youtube. Books. Blogs. Friends. Family.
And here you are brother.
In the moment with me, Endre Gabori, Co-Founder of
The Bulletproof Husband™.
Reading these exact lines while I just described your
situation which probably has you thinking - how the
hell does he know all this?
Well, 10,000+ marriages I get a pretty good idea
what's going on for you.
What I also have a really good idea about is what you
need to do next:
Click the Watch Now button and take the 45 minutes of
completing our intro training (free) which every
single one of the thousands of husbands who rebuilt
their marriage watched.
This training alone is responsible for saving
thousands of marriages.
And...now you can get on that path as well.
Faced with a rough patch in the marital union landscape is a common occurrence. But when such challenges end up as a crisis, it is important to know how to fix the bad marriage or how to save a broken marriage. The fix my marriage journey or the fix a broken marriage journey is one that calls for commitment, patience, and proper strategies.
Repair and Fix Broken Marriage
Embracing Honest Communication
Truly, open communication is the central element of any attempt to restore the married life. Couples should create a secure environment in which both partners are listened and appreciated. It is all about being open with your vulnerabilities and fears without being critical, which is essential in appreciating the magnitude of the problems that are being approached.
Committing to Mutual Growth
A marriage is a partnership, and mending it can only be a joint effort of two individuals, who should strive to achieve the common objectives. This could include, but it is not limited to, couples therapy, self-help books, or marital workshops. It’s about finding new approaches to bond and prop up each other no matter what.
Re-establishing Intimacy
Intimacy is not only physical but also emotional and spiritual. However, to “save a broken marriage,” the rekindling of this bond is vital. This is achieved by the couple spending quality time together, expressing affection, and remembering the reasons why they fell in love.
Finding Forgiveness
Past pain can be your marriage’s dead weight. To learn to forgive is not to forget; it is to choose to heal and not let the past control how happy you are in the future. Forgiveness is an important part of the “repair my marriage” procedure.
Taking Actionable Steps
Knowing the need to mend your marriage is the starting point, but doing is what leads to the change. Little but regular improvements can bring a huge difference. It can be a date night, a common hobby, or daily love affirmations, all these acts form the basis for an improved relationship.
Conclusion: A Renewal Journey
Do not forget that the action of “fix a bad marriage” or “fix a broken marriage” is a process not a race. There are failures and triumphs, but every forward step is a step towards a more powerful and stable union. Dedication and the ability to adjust allow couples to beat the odds and bring the love that united them back to life.